Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Grape Gripes

I brought grapes into work this week. They were delicious! Crisp, juicy, sweet. My coworkers thought they were yummy too. Except that Shabaz Muffalet choked a little when he heard they were from the Walmart*. After all, this is Maryland. And Shabaz Muffalet is a blue blue Democrat. Which I think means he hates Walmart. I'd say he's a navy blue Democrat, but that sounds a little too close to Navy, which is part of the military, which I don't think is much of a concern for blue Democrats at all. But what do I know? I'm just a purple girl here in a blue state. Shabaz Muffalet told me once that I'm the most democratic Repulican he knows, on account of me voting to pay for libraries and schools. What can I say? I prefer when my checker-outer at the Walmart can read.

So I guess I'd say Shabaz Muffalet is a royal blue Democrat. But maybe "royal" connotes monarchies or dictatorships. Hmm. Let's call him an azure blue Democrat. Azure blue is a nice color. And besides, it's one of the official colors of my sorority in college. But I'm guessing that not everyone in my sorority was a Democrat.

Anyway, back to the Walmart. The super Walmart has the best and cheapest produce I have found. Sounds weird, but it's true. My other options are the Shoppers (which regularly has wilted produce) or Whole Paycheck (need I say more?). Oh, and there is a gucci Safeway kind of close, but their prices are almost up there with WP. And the produce at the Walmart is usually really good. I've had delicious Anjou pears, asparagus, leeks, etc. So I feel a little bad for ruining the environment by eating California grapes bought from the Walmart (two strikes!), but man, it's the only game in town.**

I wish I could quit you, Walmart.

*Have you ever noticed that things are funnier when you put a "the" in front of them. For example, "he has shingles" just sounds sad. But "he got the shingles" sounds kind of funny. Unless it's something that normally starts with "the." Like "I have the measles." Not funny at all.

**OK, not quite the only game in town. I belong to a CSA and I also frequent our local farmers markets, but none of them are selling grapes or bananas. Does the CSA help to cancel out my Walmart debt?


  1. Okay, what's with the California grapes ruining the environment? Have I missed something on the news?

    And I say buy your produce where its the best and the cheapest. Gucci safeway--that's funny. What the heck happened to them? I used to shop there all the time. And now I just get mad EVERY time I go there. But they have my most favorite brand of cottage cheese, so I do go there once in a while.

  2. Debby, California grapes are WONDERFUL - if you are in California! It's that whole locavore movement. After reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Kingsolver I feel vaguely guilty eating things that I know have traveled long distances (bananas from Latin America, strawberries from Mexico, grapes from California).

    But I have cut down on eating processed foods (which travel MUCH further distances due to the processing needs), so I don't feel quite as bad about it.

    If you haven't read A,V,M it's a good read.

    Maybe the solution is to move to Cali! ;)

  3. I feel bad about everything I eat. And yet it doesn't really stop me. Also too? I hate going to Walmart, but sometimes I can't find stuff (you know, like my dog's hula hoop, which was so necessary) anywhere else.

    At any rate, you are my comment of the week. Go, Juice!